Love or Infatuation?
Infatuation is fleeting desire -- one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. It is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's being unfaithful. Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before.
--Ann Landers  I performed a piece in the ISB called "Where Never Lark nor Eagle Flew" which was based on this poem. It was written by a young man who left to become a fighter pilot in the WW2. His parents were very upset over his decision, and he wrote this poem to try to explain to them his reasons behind becoming a fighter pilot. He mailed the poem, but before it reached his parents, he was killed.
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds...and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of...wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew.
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
John Gillespie Magee Jr.
 "I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another person. And I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship -no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before. And I dont care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just couldnt allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which, by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know, I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask is that you not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it, for just ten seconds. There isnt another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. And even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."
~ Holden (played by Ben Affleck) in Chasing Amy
My friend Phil is in this incredible band called Amadeus. I encourage any and all of you to check out their website: www.amadeusland.com. They really are great, I can't say enough about them. Anyways, there's this song they used to do sometimes called "See You at the Gates." I think they lyrics are so comforting...this idea that no matter what goes on in your life, through the people you love and lose, that one day we're all going to be together again (even that best friend you had in 2nd grade and haven't seen in, like, 10 years) and everything will be wonderful and perfect and we will all be enjoying it together with no worries or problems and everything will be the way you have always wanted it to be. I just really love this song (and yeah...go check out the Amadeus website!): 
"See You at the Gates" (Ian Lee Lamb)
See those faces so perfect in their places,
no one cares what the other has done.
Children full of wonder, here comes the thunder,
the rain has come.
So they run inside to their mother's sides
and every single one of them is beautiful.
I wish we all could go back to when we were just like that,
but right now I've gotta go... and I'll
See you at the gates my friend.
Life is a thin line, I've only had a little time,
But what I've had, it was enough.
And through it all, with slips and falls,
we've made it through smooth and through rough.
So I say to you, I say to you... you've got to do
all the things you've never done.
And when you're through it all,
you can stand up tall
and we will say to everyone:
See you at the gates my friend.
And when we get there, through everything,
and all we've seen, it'll all be worth the wait.
And when we get there, I'll throw my arms around you,
I'll make my love surround you...
and we'll say all the things we've never said.
See you at the gates my friend.
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